There are a lot of types of men women should stay away from, but mama’s boys are pretty much at the top of my stay-the-hell-away-from-me list. Yeah, I know a man who treats his mama right knows how to treat women and blah blah blah. However, I’m pretty much convinced this was made up by some delusional woman to give other women hope that an auto-indicator of good-guyness exists. A) Women get lied to, cheated on, and disrespected by true soldiers of the mama’s boy movement everyday and B) A mama’s boy will let his mama disrespect his girlfriend or wife to no end. So, all of that non-disrespect you’ll be getting from him, you’ll be getting on the back end from his mama and/or sisters. Personally, I’d rather deal with the bull from the person I’m actually in a relationship with (preferably, none at all) than his mama and/or sisters.
Obviously, I want a man to love his mother and/or sisters and have a wonderful relationship with her/them. But, mama’s boys are different. They’re afraid of their mothers in general, afraid to ever say no to their mothers, and afraid to disappoint their mothers. In the beginning, it’s cute and maybe even a little endearing. But, when your dates start getting canceled because she locked herself out of her car and AAA suddenly doesn’t exist or whether or not the two of you should be together is suddenly called into question because she doesn’t like you, dating a mama’s boy gets old. Quick.
Sure, I’ve experienced the suckiness of dating a mama’s boy, but what happens when his mom not only doesn’t prefer you, but prefers his ex? This is a situation I’ve never personally encountered, but imagine thousands of couples have. Even Chris Brown’s mama recently tweeted Rihanna (subliminally, of course) that she missed and loved her. Rihanna (subliminally, of course) replied that she missed and loved her too. To me, that’s awkward. It’s awkward because they’re a couple who probably will never be together again. It’s also awkward because dude has a new relationship, yet his momisn’t over his ex. It’s really awkward (and disrespectful) because Chris Brown’s mother made such an awkward gesture publicly. How can two people move on if his mama won’t even do it?
Starting a new relationship after you’ve already been in a real relationship is hard enough. (Sidenote: by “real relationship,” I mean the kind that forces you to reconsider the steps you’ve taken in life just so you can incorporate that other person into your life goals and plans.) There’s the getting used to a new person and what not. But, there’s also the never-ending comparisons you subconsciously make. Remember how your ex used to leave that one sock laying around? Thank God this shiny new guy is a neat freak! Or, remember how your last girl used to fill in the blank on the regular and now your new girl refuses to fill in the blank until you put a ring on it? Too bad, because she ain’t her! For most people, the comparisons ultimately end with a matter of taste and perception—Lebron vs. Kobe, if you will. Most importantly, these differences are trade-off’s, and it really doesn’t matter that your new dude smells kind of odd because the last one had dirty fingernails.
For mamas, though, there is no comparison. To her, the new girl isn’t an upgrade or even a lateral move. It’s a straight-up downgrade. It’s the reason why mamas are so bold in declaring their preference for the last chick, either privately or publicly. Herein lies the awkwardness. Wanting to move on and being able to are two different things, and mamas love to complicate that process. Even mamas who wanttheir mama’s boys to be happy want that happiness to come in one of two ways: Either doting on their mother the rest of their lives or doting on a woman they’ve hand-picked and approve of.
Us women who aren’t apart of the hand-chosen elite are pretty much stuck fighting an uphill battle. Now, I’m not against dating reformed mama’s boys—men who’ve gone through mama’s boys anonymous to learn to cut the umbilical cord and what not. But, dating a mama’s boy is only worth it when the relationship is great. So great it’s damn-near flawless. And, he has to be great, too. So great he’s been featured in Essence’s bachelor of the month every year since high school. I don’t mean a medium-iight relationship like Chrissy and Jim Jones. And, I don’t mean a gross-lookin’, hood ass ninja medium-iight dude like Jim Jones, either. If I’m going to be battling another woman for my man and that other woman is his mama…well, it better be worth it. Chances are, it won’t be.
